Dating decoded: Evolutionary insights on attraction
Welcome to my collection of articles exploring the timeless dance of dating and mating. Drawing from evolutionary psychology, cultural history, and real-world wisdom, these pieces decode the costly signals that shape attraction, reveal hidden patterns in modern romance, and offer practical insights to navigate love’s complexities. Whether you’re curious about biology’s role in courtship or seeking strategies for deeper connections, start reading and uncover what really drives human desire.
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From the therapist’s couch to TikTok: dating language 1970s–2020s
How dating language moved from the sociology textbook to the smartphone screen—and what it reveals about modern relationships Fifty years ago, the people who named our romantic experiences were sociologists,…
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From TikTok to the therapist’s couch: dating language 2020–2025
The most striking thing about dating language in the 2020s isn’t the words themselves—it’s where they came from. For decades, the language of love was generated by psychologists, sociologists, and…
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The brief rise of the sensitive new age guy (and why he disappeared)
The man who did everything right and still got it wrong In 1982, Bruce Feirstein published Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche, a satirical bestseller targeting a new species of American…
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The rise and fall of the pickup artist
What mainstream critics missed about a misunderstood movement In 2005, journalist Neil Strauss published The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, an exposé that spent months on the…
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Why “playing hard to get” has survived 2,000 years of dating advice
Why Ovid, The Rules, and pickup artists all say the same thing about scarcity and desire “Don’t call him back right away.” “Let him pursue you.” “Be easy to be…
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What the women want: the other side of the passport bro story
Women fleeing machismo and mia nois for respect and real partnerships Last week I looked at the female passport bro—older Western women who travel to West Africa, the Caribbean, and…
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Rent-a-dreads and sex tourism: the female passport bro
Female sex tourists—older Western women traveling to West Africa, the Caribbean, and beyond, chasing romance and sex with much younger local men—get almost zero public outrage. Everyone knows the “passport…
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10 Dating books that changed how people date (and mate)
From ancient Rome to the pickup artist era—a curated list with commentary from my research into the evolution of dating advice Essential dating books Some dating books sell millions of…
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Bonnie Blue’s pregnancy and the evolution of dating signals
What the “breeding mission” tells us about costly signaling in the attention economy On February 22, 2026, the British adult content creator Bonnie Blue posted a YouTube video confirming she…
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The Bridget Jones effect 20 years on
Why 1990s dating anxiety never went away In February 2025, Renée Zellweger returned as Bridget Jones in Mad About the Boy, the fourth film in a franchise that began over…
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Valentine’s day is a fitness test (and you’re being graded)
From panic bouquets to quiet presence: how February 14th grades your mate value Every year around the middle of February, a familiar anxiety settles over men in relationships. What do…
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What evolutionary psychology actually says about attraction
Debunking the pop science—and what the research really shows If you’ve spent time in online dating discussions, you’ve likely encountered evolutionary psychology explaining attraction. Men prioritize youth and beauty for…
What is a costly signal?
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