The arms race of signals
Not all dating advice is created equal. These articles examine popular guidance from relationship coaches, influencers, and self-help authors—separating evolutionary insight from pseudoscience and marketing.
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The arms race of signals
Peacocks, the pill, and the pickup artists: how courtship signals get made, copied, and thrown away.
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Why “playing hard to get” has survived 2,000 years of dating advice
Why Ovid, The Rules, and pickup artists all say the same thing about scarcity and desire “Don’t call him back right away.” “Let him pursue you.” “Be easy to be with but hard to get.” If you’ve heard this advice, you’ve encountered an idea with a surprisingly long pedigree. “Playing…
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10 Dating books that changed how people date (and mate)
From ancient Rome to the pickup artist era—a curated list with commentary from my research into the evolution of dating advice Essential dating books Some dating books sell millions of copies and vanish without a trace. Others reshape how an entire generation approaches romance. After a decade spent building an…
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The strangest dating advice from the 1980s
The pre-romantic me, back in the decade of flux Ah, the late 1980s—when I was just hitting my teenage years, navigating the awkward thrill of first crushes amid a whirlwind of big hair and bigger dreams. Here’s me back then, wide-eyed and hopeful, with a massive crush on a girl…
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Why “Be Yourself” is the worst dating advice
This insight comes from my book Costly Signals: The Evolution of Dating Advice, where I dive deeper into how evolutionary principles can transform modern dating. The problem isn’t authenticity. It’s legibility. “Just be yourself.” It’s the most common dating advice out there, and it’s almost completely useless. Not because authenticity…
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Top ten dating advice tips for men
Dating tips in time for Valentine’s Day Women aren’t always clear about what they find attractive in a partner, as frustrating and alluring as that can be for many men. To be more specific, a woman’s criteria for finding “Mr. Right” can change over time—according to context and her own…
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Tentative Tinder matches in The Golden Land
Myanmar matches with the new swipe culture 36-year-old Sandar Win chats with her two friends at Amazon Coffee, distracting herself with a smartphone in one hand. She smiles and flashes them a picture of a man called “Simon,” who’s 41 and is sitting on the back of a jet ski.…
About the author
Andrew King
Author of Costly Signals: The Evolution of Dating Advice. PhD researcher with 500+ dating guides from the 1800s to today. Why do we take romantic advice from strangers? I have answers.
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Whether you’re a journalist, podcaster, or an event organizer, I’d love to hear from you. I speak on modern dating, evolutionary psychology, and a surprising history of dating advice.
© 2026, Andrew King